Friday, July 16, 2010
Sunday, July 4, 2010
FROM 21st MAY 2009 TO 4th JULY 2010
I would like to again write something about Marriage.
The last time I talked about it was on 21st may 2009 and today it is 4th July 2010.
On 21st of May 2009 I admitted to myself that I had nothing like patience or tolerance or whatever is required to make a marriage work.
Frankly my marriage is now working. It’s been 6 months and I still haven’t been able to understand how to handle my angers or my In-Laws or my husband. I have noticed that no matter what I do my husband always finds something or the other to talk about against me. On repeated asking I discover that actually its my In-Law who thinks that there is a problem.
Then why does my husband talk about it and start hating me? I don’t understand!! I often ask him to talk On my behalf and he seldom does. Is that right? He Is an educated guy and thinks it’s not necessary to really talk on behalf of his wife.
A man marries a girl in front of her entire family and society promising to take care of her. Then what happens when he has to take her part in front of his own family? Just letting them know that he s happy with this girl the way she is; is an impossible thing to do for our INDIAN MAN!!
In most cases the girl is asked to defend herself.. which in my experience is a fatal move. Don’t ask me why!!
I sit with my eyes closed and think like a third person as to what’s happening….Where am I going wrong? Because if I am right there is no question of things going wrong!
when I look at things from a 3rd person's eye, I end up laughing!!
At the same time, feeling sorry that, small things that have no meaning and reason make me get angry with my husband..I also feel low that how can a well educated adult entertain mindless talks about his own legitimate wife??
It also makes me strongly believe that small things can really drive a marriage towards a Divorce.
I am born in 1984.How can an adult be told to behave in a certain fixed, standard fashion? It is an excepted fact that every human being is different and has a different way of life.
Most people don’t know what they want or what they like to do. Do you know what you really like to do or what makes you happy?
I do! I know how to laugh at least once a day.
Marriage is no joke nor is it a blessing. I regard those who are not married as very intelligent human beings. They are blessed with all the time and freedom and also the ability to make other married people fall apart.
Marriage is a gamble in which you put your entire life at stake. And what are the factors that decide whether you win or lose?- Family , friends, relatives , money , ego , respect , communication.
I am wrong to say that its because of all the above factors that a man marries. A man marries for parents, for friends , for relatives , for his own ego , and for his respect in the society.
How many men marry just because he fell in love with the girl and wants to bestow their love on her? I fail to think of one man who really marries for love and affection.
Even your Son-in-law/Brother-in-law will marry your daughter/sister for the sake of his respect,ego,family & society and will soon come back to tell you – "she is not meeting up to my expectations."
I am convinced that every teen age girl/boy should fall in love with any tom, dick or harry to at least have a taste of what we girls call our fantasy world. Because my friend, if you think when you get married it’s going to be wonderful, you’re mistaken. Ask any married man or woman if they are happy!!
Especially in India. Values and culture ke naam pe people put an end to everything the girl really wants to do with her own husband and then say –“that’s how we are and that’s what my son has seen in our family”.
WAHA RE INDIANS!!
Many of you may say that I should open a marriage counseling center. I say-“ no I wont. I don’t want anybody to get married. Have a live-in-relationship and concentrate on your work.” That’s what todays generation is doing and now I don’t see many reason against it.
Why should a girl not love a guy just because its not the right time to marry??
Go ahead as when the time is not right, the guy will tell you that he loves you everyday; and when the time comes – he ll run out of words.
In todays world there is nothing that lasts. Marriage is no exception. Marriage is a curse that makes you cry buckets.
Even educated adults have not been able to master the art. I see no difference between an educated man and an un-educated man when it comes to marriage. They all have the same low style of thinking in the name of tradition and culture.
Does Indian culture teach us that a man have all the right to crush his girl’s dreams from the day she holds his hand??
WOW !! HANDS OFF TO OUR GREAT INDIAN CULTURE AND TRADITION AND TO ALL THE INDIAN MEN!!
HATE AND SORROW IS WHAT A MARRIAGE SOW IN THE NAME OF “EXPECTATIONS”!
BEHIND EVERY BROKEN RELATIONSHIP THERE IS 1 WORD CALLED "THE GREAT EXPECTATION".
The last time I talked about it was on 21st may 2009 and today it is 4th July 2010.
On 21st of May 2009 I admitted to myself that I had nothing like patience or tolerance or whatever is required to make a marriage work.
Frankly my marriage is now working. It’s been 6 months and I still haven’t been able to understand how to handle my angers or my In-Laws or my husband. I have noticed that no matter what I do my husband always finds something or the other to talk about against me. On repeated asking I discover that actually its my In-Law who thinks that there is a problem.
Then why does my husband talk about it and start hating me? I don’t understand!! I often ask him to talk On my behalf and he seldom does. Is that right? He Is an educated guy and thinks it’s not necessary to really talk on behalf of his wife.
A man marries a girl in front of her entire family and society promising to take care of her. Then what happens when he has to take her part in front of his own family? Just letting them know that he s happy with this girl the way she is; is an impossible thing to do for our INDIAN MAN!!
In most cases the girl is asked to defend herself.. which in my experience is a fatal move. Don’t ask me why!!
I sit with my eyes closed and think like a third person as to what’s happening….Where am I going wrong? Because if I am right there is no question of things going wrong!
when I look at things from a 3rd person's eye, I end up laughing!!
At the same time, feeling sorry that, small things that have no meaning and reason make me get angry with my husband..I also feel low that how can a well educated adult entertain mindless talks about his own legitimate wife??
It also makes me strongly believe that small things can really drive a marriage towards a Divorce.
I am born in 1984.How can an adult be told to behave in a certain fixed, standard fashion? It is an excepted fact that every human being is different and has a different way of life.
Most people don’t know what they want or what they like to do. Do you know what you really like to do or what makes you happy?
I do! I know how to laugh at least once a day.
Marriage is no joke nor is it a blessing. I regard those who are not married as very intelligent human beings. They are blessed with all the time and freedom and also the ability to make other married people fall apart.
Marriage is a gamble in which you put your entire life at stake. And what are the factors that decide whether you win or lose?- Family , friends, relatives , money , ego , respect , communication.
I am wrong to say that its because of all the above factors that a man marries. A man marries for parents, for friends , for relatives , for his own ego , and for his respect in the society.
How many men marry just because he fell in love with the girl and wants to bestow their love on her? I fail to think of one man who really marries for love and affection.
Even your Son-in-law/Brother-in-law will marry your daughter/sister for the sake of his respect,ego,family & society and will soon come back to tell you – "she is not meeting up to my expectations."
I am convinced that every teen age girl/boy should fall in love with any tom, dick or harry to at least have a taste of what we girls call our fantasy world. Because my friend, if you think when you get married it’s going to be wonderful, you’re mistaken. Ask any married man or woman if they are happy!!
Especially in India. Values and culture ke naam pe people put an end to everything the girl really wants to do with her own husband and then say –“that’s how we are and that’s what my son has seen in our family”.
WAHA RE INDIANS!!
Many of you may say that I should open a marriage counseling center. I say-“ no I wont. I don’t want anybody to get married. Have a live-in-relationship and concentrate on your work.” That’s what todays generation is doing and now I don’t see many reason against it.
Why should a girl not love a guy just because its not the right time to marry??
Go ahead as when the time is not right, the guy will tell you that he loves you everyday; and when the time comes – he ll run out of words.
In todays world there is nothing that lasts. Marriage is no exception. Marriage is a curse that makes you cry buckets.
Even educated adults have not been able to master the art. I see no difference between an educated man and an un-educated man when it comes to marriage. They all have the same low style of thinking in the name of tradition and culture.
Does Indian culture teach us that a man have all the right to crush his girl’s dreams from the day she holds his hand??
WOW !! HANDS OFF TO OUR GREAT INDIAN CULTURE AND TRADITION AND TO ALL THE INDIAN MEN!!
HATE AND SORROW IS WHAT A MARRIAGE SOW IN THE NAME OF “EXPECTATIONS”!
BEHIND EVERY BROKEN RELATIONSHIP THERE IS 1 WORD CALLED "THE GREAT EXPECTATION".
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