Shangai!

My father returned home this evening from Shangai. He was there for a business meet with few other senior officers of the company. When I saw my father coming out of the air port, I noticed a second bag with him.

Wondering what it could be I welcomed Daddy home with a warm smile. He huged me and broke the news to me. He said-“ I did not bring my cloths back! This is all that I shopped in Shangai and Hong Kong.”

My face went pale thinking how is it possible for anybody to shop in a foreign land so much that one has to let go of his cloths and buy an extra suitcase as well????
And while I was struggling with all this in my pea size brain my father started to narrate his experience in the Shangai market which runs as follows-

There are many men and women who walk around that market area selling things. The funny thing about them is that their only objective is to sell. At what price is secondary[that wass mostly determined by their moods]. One friend of my father sat in a shop and ended up buying 5 pieces of the same item. Minutes later he realized that he can buy one more of at a much cheaper prize. Traditionally that what is done. But this gentleman refused to lower the price of that same commodity.
To my father’s surprise , when that shopkeeper was asked to make the deal on the same price he still refused it. This person was now selling same thing for a higher praise!!!!!

Was it because the seller understood that his product has a good demand among this Indian group or was it just him I can’t say!! But something like this has never happened to me. But I must say this is a pure form of business.

I am filled with surprise and have lack of knowledge to be able to write more about this particular market that my father went to. This gives me a good reason to put an end to this now!!

I have to say that after LV[USA]Shangai market is the place I want to spend half of my total assets and get a taste of those luxury items.

A luxury good, broadly speaking, is any product that a buyer will pay a premium for, above and beyond its utility. Luxury is ... an inessential but desirable item or a state of extreme comfort or indulgence. What sets luxury brands apart is that they command a premium without clear functional advantages over their counterparts.... This makes the luxury market particularly interesting because it represents consumption at its most hedonistic and seemingly irrational. Purchasing [is done] for the personal pleasure it provides, despite the financial cost that I am ready to part with.

## My Law Exams Got Over Today ##

I just got over with my exams of LL.B 2nd year. This year’s exam was nothing like a regular exam. All the students had met each other a year back during the 1st year exam and were well acquainted with one another.

As a result almost everyone knew where and with whom to sit with and had the same set of friends every day. Why I mention this is because when a person crosses a level when he/she is emotionally stressed because of the Test that is to be taken, things are much different.

My tests became a source of entertainment and everyday wake up with a smile thinking what next is going to come up today. It’s true that every person is unique in his/her own special ways. And when there are about 9 to 10 people ganging up together before an exam, things like stressed faces, style of eating, the way a person laughs etc etc becomes a laughing gas for many.

Of course there should be one person to instigate the whole funny scenario noticeable. And that person was there in our gang all the time. It is because of this very person that today I am forced to write this piece.

This girl who is my class mate is the most wired person I have ever come across. The lady has the audacity to talk any crap to any body and still manages to get away with it. I always thought that i was good with dealing people not realising that there are some who are actually blessed with this talent. It surprises me how a laughing face can get across anybody in this society.

Ho w difficult is it to laugh all the time? It’s not! But why is it that I can’t do something of that sort and she can? How can she make such a first impression that draws attention to her? But its not negative attention; rather it’s mostly a positive one.
My husband asked me will i be able to become a good lawyer in years to come! I sat thinking what if I manage to clear the last year will it give me a road that will lead me to the path where once every good lawyer of this country walked? Today as i was sitting in my examination hall, I took a look around and thought – “if these many people clear all the 3 years, then we will all become lawyers!”

So that meat i am going to be one among so many? What is it that one quality or certificate which i have to use all my life to be able to find the right direction and to be able to complete my voyage?

It strongly feel it is this talent to deal with people that’s really going to make a difference. Things like regional language, quality to jell with others etc are the important things to be kept in mind. Does that mean – this lady will find the road lead by the great Law Experts?? I don’t really know.

For I am the best and still dream to lead the Road to Success!!

MARRIAGE HAS LOST ITS SIGNIFICANCE !!

Talk about marriage and its significance in the life, its important that we also discuss the intricacies of the separation as it’s a right provided to all men and woman on different grounds to separate if the marriage is not considered HAPPY.
Though it is still looked upon as a social evil, the law permits a couple to separate ways on mutual grounds.

All Indian onan have their own rights to file for divorce if not treated well. Even though we observe that woman are ill-treated in our country in rural as well as urban areas of india; very small percentage of woman initiate for separation. But more and more social activists and social agencies are creating awareness about the law and rights available to woman.

GROUNDS FOR DIVORCE
In most western nations there are 16 distinct reasons for which divorces are granted. In India, however there are only 5 main reasons are generally accepted as sufficient ground for divorce.

ADULTRY
Its “ voluntary sexual intercourse of a married man or woman with a person other than the offender’s wife or husband”

DESERTION
The three main components of desertion are the “ disruption of cohabitation , absence of just or reasonable cause and this combination throughout 3 years” before abandoned spouse may petition for divorce. There muct be an obvious intent on the part of the spouse to remain permanently apart from the other.

CRUELTY
As with adultery , “the definition of the type of behaviors that constitute cruelty varies according to the gender of the partitioner” of the divorce. This category includes both physical and mental abuse and neglet.

IMPOTENCY
This refers to the physical inability of the couple to consummate the marriage or refusal by one spouse to do so. If there is a long period when the couple do not have sexual- intercourse and there is no just reason / the couple do not actively perform the duties of a valid marriage , it is taken as a sufficient ground for divorce.

CRONIC DISEASE
Not all religions recognize this as a valid ground for divorce . Christians do not allow divorce for a sexually transmitted disease


My question is - do you fit in any of the parameters above? if yes then free yourself from meaningless relationships with become only and only a source of pain and nothing else.... as ITS YOUR PAST THAT SHAPES YOU TOMORROW !! AND HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF!!

BAPUJI(FATHER OF OUT NATION) STOOD FOR HUMAN RIGHTS & BASIC RESPECT and STRESSED ON FREEDOM !!
ARTICLE 21 OF OUR CONSTITUTION , SAYS – "RIGHT TO LIFE AND PERSONAL LIBERTY"!!

Then I see no reason why women should not do things according to their comfort and which law says that after a woman marries she should convert herself into a ‘NAUKRAANI‘ and this is the only parameter on which a wife / daughter-in-law should be judged????

I suggest – there are so many poor girls around who are tortured and raped…. Every educated man should marry his maid’s daughter and promise to keep her happy!! This will help solve the problem of poverty which is the only cause of distress to our nation!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bujzO8Kilg4&NR=1

FROM 21st MAY 2009 TO 4th JULY 2010

I would like to again write something about Marriage.

The last time I talked about it was on 21st may 2009 and today it is 4th July 2010.
On 21st of May 2009 I admitted to myself that I had nothing like patience or tolerance or whatever is required to make a marriage work.

Frankly my marriage is now working. It’s been 6 months and I still haven’t been able to understand how to handle my angers or my In-Laws or my husband. I have noticed that no matter what I do my husband always finds something or the other to talk about against me. On repeated asking I discover that actually its my In-Law who thinks that there is a problem.

Then why does my husband talk about it and start hating me? I don’t understand!! I often ask him to talk On my behalf and he seldom does. Is that right? He Is an educated guy and thinks it’s not necessary to really talk on behalf of his wife.

A man marries a girl in front of her entire family and society promising to take care of her. Then what happens when he has to take her part in front of his own family? Just letting them know that he s happy with this girl the way she is; is an impossible thing to do for our INDIAN MAN!!

In most cases the girl is asked to defend herself.. which in my experience is a fatal move. Don’t ask me why!!

I sit with my eyes closed and think like a third person as to what’s happening….Where am I going wrong? Because if I am right there is no question of things going wrong!

when I look at things from a 3rd person's eye, I end up laughing!!
At the same time, feeling sorry that, small things that have no meaning and reason make me get angry with my husband..I also feel low that how can a well educated adult entertain mindless talks about his own legitimate wife??

It also makes me strongly believe that small things can really drive a marriage towards a Divorce.

I am born in 1984.How can an adult be told to behave in a certain fixed, standard fashion? It is an excepted fact that every human being is different and has a different way of life.

Most people don’t know what they want or what they like to do. Do you know what you really like to do or what makes you happy?
I do! I know how to laugh at least once a day.

Marriage is no joke nor is it a blessing. I regard those who are not married as very intelligent human beings. They are blessed with all the time and freedom and also the ability to make other married people fall apart.

Marriage is a gamble in which you put your entire life at stake. And what are the factors that decide whether you win or lose?- Family , friends, relatives , money , ego , respect , communication.

I am wrong to say that its because of all the above factors that a man marries. A man marries for parents, for friends , for relatives , for his own ego , and for his respect in the society.

How many men marry just because he fell in love with the girl and wants to bestow their love on her? I fail to think of one man who really marries for love and affection.

Even your Son-in-law/Brother-in-law will marry your daughter/sister for the sake of his respect,ego,family & society and will soon come back to tell you – "she is not meeting up to my expectations."


I am convinced that every teen age girl/boy should fall in love with any tom, dick or harry to at least have a taste of what we girls call our fantasy world. Because my friend, if you think when you get married it’s going to be wonderful, you’re mistaken. Ask any married man or woman if they are happy!!

Especially in India. Values and culture ke naam pe people put an end to everything the girl really wants to do with her own husband and then say –“that’s how we are and that’s what my son has seen in our family”.
WAHA RE INDIANS!!

Many of you may say that I should open a marriage counseling center. I say-“ no I wont. I don’t want anybody to get married. Have a live-in-relationship and concentrate on your work.” That’s what todays generation is doing and now I don’t see many reason against it.

Why should a girl not love a guy just because its not the right time to marry??

Go ahead as when the time is not right, the guy will tell you that he loves you everyday; and when the time comes – he ll run out of words.

In todays world there is nothing that lasts. Marriage is no exception. Marriage is a curse that makes you cry buckets.

Even educated adults have not been able to master the art. I see no difference between an educated man and an un-educated man when it comes to marriage. They all have the same low style of thinking in the name of tradition and culture.

Does Indian culture teach us that a man have all the right to crush his girl’s dreams from the day she holds his hand??

WOW !! HANDS OFF TO OUR GREAT INDIAN CULTURE AND TRADITION AND TO ALL THE INDIAN MEN!!

HATE AND SORROW IS WHAT A MARRIAGE SOW IN THE NAME OF “EXPECTATIONS”!

BEHIND EVERY BROKEN RELATIONSHIP THERE IS 1 WORD CALLED "THE GREAT EXPECTATION".

The Television Sell Dreams That Seldom Come True..

I always used to think that these great actors are completely depended on the public for their future.. They are not the types who work every minute for themselves.. Has anyone thought that if we don’t go buy movie tickets of some movie that’s newly released, the actors involved may end up loosing two years of their lives for I would say nothing but criticism?????

But then realisation has crept into me that these actors don’t only sell themselves on the screen but also sell dreams!! How slowly and smartly they touch our lives.. (but this applies to only people who are emotional fools) …. The concepts like that of Valentines Day, gifts, cards , love , relationship crap, etc has come into our lives from nowhere except the television..

Sometimes I start to think was my folks wrong to let me watch the television and never told me about the heard facts of life.. things like- the beautiful actress on the screen is probably there because she s thrown herself for the pleasures of the producers behind the camera!!

How the hearts ache when one grows up to find out that not the real love stories are the same as on the TV…. In fact they actually never exist.

I don’t know if I should tell kids from the very first time they are exposed to television–
look son, life s not anything like that. When u get married u have to think about whats next. There s nothing like love in those kinda relationships. It all gets over within a few weeks time and you ll start feeling like you ve beed married for about 50 years.!!!!!!

I think television channels should be on a individual charge basis.. that’s when parents will get conscious about what the child should see and learn and believe in. Probably then young girls will stop believing in the statements like “GOD S STILL BUSY MAKING THE MOST ROMANTIC LOVE STORY FOR ME!!”. They ll then know its just like waiting for Santa to come on the Christmas Eve carrying a bag full of happiness in the form of gifts!!!!!!!!!!!

CONDITIONS APPLIED!!!! LOL

Such ideas are sold by the television which has made our world look so small!!

TEARS !!

A sign of weakness!That’s what most people think and believe. I believe in that phrase.

We often tell young boys not to cry like girls as boys are supposed to be stronger!! And at the same time one would find elders telling the grown up ladies that tolerance is something that women are blessed with which is why they are gifted with the quality of giving birth. In other words one can say that somewhere women are stronger than men (emotionally)!!

Why does a person shed tears? When something hurts a lot or when a person feels insulted or when people around them are hurt or when someone goes bankrupt etc etc.
The point is what happens before and after the tears drops? How is it emotionally connected?

My one liner when I am about to cry is “ I cant take it anymore!!” that’s what I feel or go through just before I am about to cry. And I just don’t feel it as it is , I feel it very strongly. It makes me break down like a beggar or a pitiful dependent person.

What happens before the tears are about to fall is mostly a feeling which can be said as “I feel lost”. How easy is it to make an independent person feel lost? What is independence in the first place?
The fact is that we live in a society and are always sensitive to what others feel or talk or thinks of you. No one can escape that trap. After all we are all humans. It hurts the call upon someone who does not want to talk to you, it hurts when someone passes away; it hurts when you are broke ; it hurts when u cut yourself…. The point is “it hurts”. That’s when the tears starts playing its role. How difficult is it to understand that all one runs after is happiness or satisfaction; like that in the novel – The Alchemist. Less that we know that what we look for is right there just under your nose.
We have many Hindi phrases to put all of it in few words but I am just going to move on.

My opinion about tears is weakness. But of late I have realised that tears can actually make you stronger. There are two sides to it:

First: when you have cried enough tears on something you know how badly you want it; It sometimes makes you all the more determined to achieve that something which really matters to you. After all you have cried tears on it. It should be worth that stress.

Secondly: when you have cried enough tears on something, you may stop valuing it. It stops bothering you after a while as they say “its out of your system”. Even that helps as u no longer crib or is waiting for it. You understand and relate that thing with pain.
In both the cases things stop affecting you just cause you have lost a few of the precious tears.

I am not saying that one has a option of crying every time it pains. But that the concept of taking everything into you and just waiting till you burst may not be fully correct. Its true that when u cry you cry alone…. But who decides when you should have the luxury to shed tears and let go of your pains?